“Bella mia,” Levi rasped, his gray eyes tormented and lost. “Please, I didn’t know they would do that—”
“I did!” I cut in. “I did.” I ran my hand through my dampening hair. “Because it’s all they’ve ever done. It’s what people do when you’re different. It’s what they do to keep you down, in the place not worthy of them.”
Levi shook his head. “No, Elsie, they’re—”
Before I could finish, I ripped the cuffs off my wrists. I held up my hands, the scars on my wrists facing him. He had to have seen them. The evidence of what I’d done. What I’d done because of people like that.
“This is what people like that can cause! This is what their words can do. This is what happens when people come at you day and night and shred away who you are, or in my case, how you sound. They get you alone and they attack. They attack like fucking vultures, and they pick you apart, piece by agonizing piece until you can’t take it anymore. Until you’d rather be dead than alive, hating the thought of one more day being hunted like verbal prey. Because they leave their voice in your head. They plant it there so, even when they’re not around, you still hear them screaming at you, screaming that you sound horrible. That you’re an embarrassment. That you sound stupid and awful. They tell you to shut up because they can’t stand the sound of your awful voice.”
My body shivered with the cold, rain pouring harder, spoiling my dress. “They imitate, they isolate, then they strike. I never knew it was possible to tear apart a soul, a fucking soul that people can’t even see… but it is,” I whispered, sobbing out the words. “You can’t see it, you can’t physically touch it, but you feel it… you can feel the moment they tear it apart because all that’s left afterwards is darkness and pain. A fucking great empty hole.”
I gasped for breath, my chest raw and sore. I could see people around us, watching me, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t care about people anymore. All they did was trick you into thinking they were nice, until you were vulnerable, then they stole any semblance of hope.
Gentle hands took hold of my arms, and I jumped. “Bella mia,” Levi soothed. I looked up into his gray eyes and even though it was raining, I could see the tears on his cheeks. I could see the pain on his face.
“Levi,” I whispered. “Why did they have to be so mean to me?”
“I don’t know, bella mia,” he rasped and choked on his words. “Please let me take you home… please, baby.”
Levi pulled off his jacket and wrapped it over my arms. I felt weak and broken, but I let him lead me to the car already waiting out front. Stacey and Jake were standing there, clearly having got us the Jeep, but I didn’t say anything to them. A flash of red was suddenly next to Stacey and my stomach dropped when I saw it was Harper.
“Levi, please, I’m sorry, I—”
“Get the fuck out of our way, Harper. I swear, don’t fucking mess with her right now!”
Jake pulled her back. I flinched. This wasn’t Levi. This angry, pissed boy wasn’t the gentle Levi I knew.
The car was warm, but I shivered, the cold from the rain chilling me to the bone. Levi pulled out on to the road, but my head was against the window, hot tears still pouring as I replayed their words, each repeat like a slap to the face: And in bed? What kind of noises must she make…?
Levi didn’t speak. My hands ran over my wrists and I closed my eyes at the way I’d told him what I’d done; what, for months and months, I wished had worked, until I met him.
The Jeep suddenly came to a stop and I jumped out, rushing through the back gate. I heard Levi’s door slam and his feet pounding after me. “Elsie, please, wait!”
But I kept running. I ran past the kitchen of the main house, immediately seeing everyone inside and on their feet watching me closely. Levi entered the yard and caught up to me. “Elsie, please, listen.” His thumbs ran over my scars and he whispered, “What happened, bella mia? Please tell me. I’m losing my mind. Your scars…”
I cried harder at the devastation in his voice, the voice I loved so much. The kitchen door opened. “Please go away,” Levi snapped loudly to whoever it was that came out. But I could see them standing at the doorway and I turned to see Lexi, watching me, eyes red.
“Please!” Levi shouted louder and spun to see Lexi too. “What?” he questioned, trepidation lacing each word. “What’s wrong?”
“Come inside, and out of the rain,” Lexi demanded and went back into the kitchen. I didn’t want to follow. I didn’t like the tone in her voice.
But Levi led me forward, taking me by the hand. We entered the kitchen. I saw Ally’s expression fall when she caught sight of me.
“What’s wrong?” Axel asked, rising from his seat. Fresh tears trickled down my face. Austin stood up too.